Verbal Backspacing
Last week while standing around with some friends, I carelessly commented on something I should have kept my mouth shut about. I criticized someone’s work without knowing it was actually the work of one of my friends. One who was standing right there. Of course I immediately felt like a first-class jerk. In hindsight, my words were idle, self-exalting, and proud, but what initially struck me about the situation was not my sin. It was how foolish I felt knowing I could have prevented the faux pas. Blame it on that faulty brain-to-mouth filter.
I fell all over myself apologizing. I tried to backtrack. I tried to put the comment in a less-offensive context. Ultimately, I tried to prove I really wasn’t such an insensitive and rude friend. All the while, I continued to dig a deeper and deeper hole for myself.
It’s easier to blame biting criticism or flat out rudeness on slow thinking or tiredness, than it is to take personal responsibility for accidentally exposing how you really feel – whether or not it’s socially appropriate. Let’s just call it an editorial problem, one we meant to delete and instead let fly. That’s the beauty of writing, if I type out something obviously foolish, offensive, or bad, I can backspace a few times and it’s like it never happened. But with my mouth, there is no backspacing. My words have “gone to print” so-to-say, too late to retract. If only there were such a thing as verbal backspacing, a delete button for the words I regret publicizing.
Acknowledging the Error
There are two ways I can chose to handle these word-of-mouth “woopsies”. I can get caught up in how I looked to the offended party, search for ways to excuse my behavior, and attempt to convince them (and myself) of a clear misunderstanding. Or, I can choose to apologize to the person and then go before the Lord, acknowledging something more offensive than my spoken words – my sinful thoughts and desires.
In Matthew 12:34-37 we are told it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks, that the good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, the evil brings forth evil, and that on the day of judgement we will give account for every careless word we speak. By our words, we will be justified and by our words, we will be condemned.
If I could acquire an all-access-pass to see clearly into my own heart (because Jeremiah 17:9 assures me no man can do so), I’d see sin worthy of condemnation – sin like pride, anger, jealousy, and lust. And I’m sure I’d see even more blind spots I’ve been mournfully unaware of. But the advantage of my condemning, murderously loud mouth is it serves as a behind-the-scenes-pass, exposing the sin beneath the surface – sin God calls me to repent of. And if my main concern in such vomittings of the heart, is social damage control, then my reward for retraction is nothing more than perseverance of sin and avoidance of repentance.
Editorial Heart-Work
While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me (Romans 5:8) and I’ve been buried with him in order that I might walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4). When my words evidence my spiritual death more than they evidence my newness of life, I need God’s editorial assistance – through His Holy Spirit and His written Word. Seventeenth century Puritan pastor Tomas Watson warns believers to heed every word of scripture as it thunders against sin:
“Part of submitting to the authority of Scripture is being willing to place ourselves under the scrutiny of Scripture. We ought to be in the habit of regularly examining our hearts. But this examination must not take place independently or in a vacuum. It must be done very consciously under God’s Word. God declares, “I the LORD search the heart” (Jer. 17:10). In response to this our prayer should echo that of David’s: “Search me, O God, and know my heart (Ps. 139:23)!”
Whether it’s my cautious attempt to say all the right things in front of someone I’ve just met, careless slip-ups in front of close friends, or longstanding struggles with saying too much in the comfort of my own home, my words are evidence of deeper matters. The Lord is ready to search my heart, on my behalf, for His glory. As I submit myself to the guidance of the Spirit and the Word, it is He who completes the re-write in me, from the inside out.
Believers, stop looking for a verbal delete button, back-tracking over your blunders and finding scapegoats for your scathing words. See your words for what they are – a peek into your heart. Monitor your mouth, for it offers endless opportunities for the Spirit’s sanctifying work on your behalf. It isn’t a filter issue, it’s a heart issue.
